After experiencing a low point in life, I started doubting to myself whether I rely to much on other people, I crave love from others but struggle to see what’s loveable about myself, in other words, I couldn’t love myself.

Aiming to use performance art as a medium for self-exploration, it was quick that I decided I want to make a performance about ‘self-love’, with shaving my head, adding a hint of my iconic extreme approach in performance. Self-love is a new topic for me as I always hold the belief that ‘it doesn’t matter if I don’t love myself because someone else will love me for me.’. But as time passed, more people appeared in my life and left, I started wondering whether I should start learning to appreciate myself, understand my own value instead of waiting for other people’s affirmation. 

People loved my long hair, and I felt good getting compliments every now and then, but then I started thinking, am I keeping this hair just because everyone says it’s nice? Am I unconsciously giving up myself to please others? If I cut other people off in my life just so I can love myself better, is ‘self-love’ doing any good for me? 

I explored the reliant nature between caring and violence. As a work that were intended to explore self-love, it is more like a conversation to myself, during the performance, I was thinking about the people I made friends with that have fallen out of a relationship with me, my relationship with self-love, and the thought of teaching myself to ‘take care’ of myself, it is an intense emotion and I managed to express these feelings through strong physical motions

‘Dance Me to the End of Love’ by Leonard Cohen isan ode to ‘Love’, it is intimate, chaotic, transcendental and is everything about life or death. I did a cover of this song as the background music for the second half of the short film, as I burn up my hair and gently rub the ashes on my body, I reckon this song goes the best with my performance.